Emily texted me telling me she was at a Chinatown bar. I asked how it was.

Good, she said, except “everyone wants to fuck _____!”

“WHY?” I asked.

“NO IDEA COME HERE.”

I assumed this meant my friends were heading from Chinatown to No Idea Bar in Gramercy, which is where I went.

Nope.

**

Emily texted me telling me she was at WCOU Radio, in the East Village.

I went to WXOU Radio, in the West Village.